While some don’t believe in the concept of a soul mate. It seems ridiculous to think there is one person out there that can be the answer to all of your relationship prayers. Or, even if you do have a soul mate, the chances of actually meeting that person is slim.

So, do you have a soul mate? Yes! You have many soul mates in fact. But the concept of a soul mate is likely different than you think.

A soul mate is someone with whom we have a strong connection, literally on a soul level. When we meet someone and feel an instant strong connection, we often assume it means we are destined to be with that person. How can you have such a connection with someone and not be with them long term?

Uniting with a soul mate could mean you’ll have a life long, healthy and loving relationship. It could also mean you have things to work on, issues to heal and patterns to release. When you meet one, it can be “yay! A soul mate!” or “oh no! a soul mate. This will be a bumpy ride!”

A relationship with a soul mate is about healing. It can be the most divine relationship at times and the most challenging. It often has big ups and downs and conflicts and also deep emotions and intense sexual chemistry. The connection is very strong and the idea of separating from that person can feel like you are losing a limb. Stress and anxiety can be common. You may logically know the relationship isn’t good for you and you feel anxiety and pain a great deal of the time but you can’t seem to let it go!

Relationships reflect our issues to be resolved, healed and released. Refer to chapter 4 in my book, Exploring Your Potential; Who am I and what am I doing here?. A soul mate reflects these issues very strongly. On a soul level, these beings have agreed to help each other heal and grow, which plays out in the relationship. These experiences help us get very clear on what we don’t want. You can’t be clear on what you want if you don’t know what you don’t want.

The key to a relationship with a soul mate is to get your piece. You brought this person into your life so you could heal something big. How do you do this? See what the relationship is showing you about you, pay attention to how you feel and allow for the healing.

1. Be aware of what the relationship is showing you about you. Maybe you feel unworthy of having a loving relationship and allow yourself to be treated poorly. This can be also reflect patterns of co-dependency, self punishment/hatred or a low sense of self value, for example.

Are you being treated with disregard and respect? Does your partner not honor commitments or not value your preferences? Is there continuous dishonesty and you simply look the other way? Are you treating your partner in any of these ways? You both have a piece to get here but the only one that matters to you is yours. They have their own journey in this.

2. Pay attention to how you feel the majority of the time. Do you feel stressed, anxious or insecure? Or do you feel supported, secure, loved and cherished? Noting how you feel most of the time will help you understand your piece. If you feel unhappy most of the time yet you are staying in the relationship, ask yourself why. There is more information there to understanding your piece.

3. Allow for the healing. The gift in these often challenging relationships is healing. Heal the patterns, fears and wounds that this is mirroring for you. You will be happier and healthier and your relationships will be better because of it. Trust the process and allow it to unfold without control or fear.

Take an honest assessment of yourself and your situation. Heal, resolve, release. Get clear on what you don’t want. It is possible that your relationship with this soul mate may end. The initial purpose was for you both to get your piece. When you do, it has served this loving purpose. That may be the only reason this person was in your life. Yet, if you both do the work to heal your piece, you may decide to be together in a healthier form. Or you may decide to let it go altogether.

Soul mates offer each other the opportunity of deep healing and learning more of who you truly are. It is a loving gift of the highest order. Get your piece so you can have the wonderful relationship you desire. Be grateful to your soul mate for the opportunity they have given you to heal and become more whole!