When something happens that you don’t like, do you look to understanding? Or do you automatically go for the blame, take it personally, feel like a victim or martyr?

When you look to understanding, you realize that very little is personal. Mary does something that hurts your feelings. You immediately fly into victim or martyr and anger. You don’t speak to her for days because you are so mad at what she did “to you”.

Stop for a moment and think about why Mary may have behaved this way. Was she having a bad day? Maybe she was distracted with something else going on. Her behavior could have been a result of an insecurity or fear of her own. Chances are, it wasn’t about you.

Rarely do we mean to hurt others yet it does happen. We react to another’s behavior based upon how we are feeling ourselves. If you are feeling insecure, scared or preoccupied, you are more likely to misinterpret a situation. This happens and it’s ok but be aware of it.

Be aware of what is your stuff and what is not. If someone does/says something to you that you don’t like, take a moment and understand what they could be going through, what could be motivating the behavior. Don’t get into their heads, go to the heart and understand.

Being understanding opens your heart to compassion, makes you feel better and is a gift to others. Know that very few things are personal and there is always understanding to be found.