Are you constantly complaining about the same behavior from your significant other? He/she doesn’t listen to you, doesn’t treat you the way you want, isn’t supportive, doesn’t consider your feelings or preferences, or is even emotionally abusive…. Does this sound familiar? Do you often feel stressed, anxious and hurt and feel someone else is to blame? There comes a point in our relationships when it’s no longer about them but it’s about you.

Relationships are an ongoing journey of learning and growing together. Of understanding needs, how to communicate, and assessing compatibility. There are growing pains to be sure. But there is a point when the pains are not from growth but due to the reality of the relationship.

If you are constantly faced with the same issues of what your mate is doing, ask yourself these questions:

Have you communicated your feelings without judgment or attack?

If yes:
•    Does your mate recognize the issues and understand your concerns?
•    Is your mate willing to work on these things?
•    Are you willing to work on your part?
•    Are you seeing change?

If no:
•    Why are you still in the relationship?

It sometimes comes down to compatibility. So be honest with yourself about how compatible you both are. Don’t try to fit a square peg into a round hole.  

The bottom line is to quit complaining about the same issues over and over. Either work together to fix them, accept the situation as it is and let it go or end the relationship. Don’t blame your mate for being who he/she is. If you don’t like it and want to change them, consider leaving. If you stay and continue to be miserable, you are the one responsible for your misery because you choose to stay.

So, what are you willing to do to have the relationship you want? It is all about you, you know!